Saturday, March 24, 2007

Heavy lifting

Yesterday, I was supposed to go to the International Anti-Aging show, the place where women go to get everything lifted - eyes, tummies, faces, necks...and spirits! After all, they give away tens of thousands of dollars in free procedures!

But when I arrived at the parking lot, I couldn't find a spot to park. Because of all the trucks.

I was confused. Were female truckers suddenly interested in looking better? Were they all channelling Susan Hawk (aka Survivor Sue), the former trucker turned makeover queen? I didn't know because I couldn't get out of my car and find out. Eventually I found a space, but because the trucks were so monstrous, they'd both gone over the line on their side of the parking space, so the open space was more like a half space. Which would've been fine if I were driving this...

Beep beep!

But I wasn't. I was driving this...

Just kidding. But wouldn't it be cool to have a Jaguar Hearse? Actually, it would've been better to have this type of hearse...

A Monster Truck Hearse!

"You want to roll over me? You're dead meat, man!"

But I didn't. Finally, I found a spot far, far away from the crazy trucks, because I was sure that if I parked anywhere near the trucks, they wouldn't see my car when they went to leave, and they'd just drive right over it, like this:

"What house, officer?"

Finally, I got inside the International Centre, only to find that there was a Heaving Equipment Show going on.

"My forklift can pick up 82 tons. How much can yours?"

And while there was lots machinery to help you lift heavy objects, where was the show that helped you lift your eyelids and your tummy? Had I gotten it wrong?

Thankfully, the Wine & Cheese show was going on in the next hall so I went to clear my head and rid any thoughts of monster truckers bulldozing the building and killing us all. Then, I found the Anti-Aging show, and the needles, Botox and fat-sucking machines. And I felt safe.

On my way home, to celebrate my expert sleuthing abilities, I bought myself this...

A Nancy Drew Journal! Because a good sleuth should always have a notebook to figure out the mystery. Then I stopped in at The 10 Spot to get a pretty manicure (because you never know when you'll need to point a finger at the culprit).

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