Thursday, March 29, 2007

Book #6: The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters

As I mentioned, I increased the rate at which I read books by adding a Book IV drip through my iPod. I started out with The
True and Outstanding adventures of the Hunt Sisters
. I'd heard great things about this book for years, but never got around to picking it up, and I actually knew nothing about the story, so I was pleasantly surprised, when I started listening, to find that it's written as a series of letters from Olivia Hunt to various people in her life - movie producers, her ex-boyfriend, her mother, her best friend, and her sister, Madeleine Hunt. Because Olivia is reading her own letters to you, it creates this sort of intimacy that goes beyond what you'd get reading the book. It's like she was reading the letters to me. Plus, the story was so engaging that as soon as one letter ended I couldn't wait for the next to start. The result was that I would get so caught up in the story that if I was running on the treadmill, I'd just keep running so I could keep listening. It was almost like I'd forgotten I was exercising. Almost, but not quite.

If anyone has a suggestion for my next Book IV drip, let me know!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Measuring up

I hate measuring. In fact, I think it's safe to say that I like to wing it in all crafty projects. Which is odd, considering I'm such a planner in life and don't really like last-minute plans.

So this past weekend I decided I was going to make a yoga mat bag.

I found this excellent tutorial at Pink of Perfection. Looks simple, right? Huh.

I went to the fabric store.
I bought waaaaay more material than I needed. Just to be safe, because when you're a non-measurer, you can never have too much material.
I cut it waaaaaay bigger than I needed it to be. Again, just to be safe. I even sewed under the hems before sewing them together, just so it would look extra pretty.

Then, I forgot to attach the strap before I sewed up the seams. So then I had to redo the seams.

Then, as I was cutting the ribbon, I cut through the yoga bag because I was cutting the ribbon with the yoga bag on top. Why would I do that? Why, yoga gods, why?

So then I had to make the bag shorter (to cut off the cut part). But then it was too short. The top of the yoga bag was sticking out the top of the bag. So then I had to add a piece to the top. The result...

It's still cute, right? RIGHT? But well, this is the good side. The inside is full of threads and strings and so...this ISN'T the yoga mat bag that I'm going to be giving away with an advanced reader copy of Stuck in Downward Dog very, very soon at a special event that you won't want to miss...

Instead, I'm going to use this yoga mat bag for my own yoga mat. You know, for the next time I actually make it to a yoga class.

Stay tuned for the new and improved yoga mat bag and contest details...coming soon!

PS - Have YOU made a yoga mat bag? If so, email me the picture and I'll post them here.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Why you shouldn't let the Internet choose your career...

In high school, when it came time to choose a career, one by one each of my classmates would be sent down to the guidance counsellor's office to do a fancy shmancy test on the computer that would determine what we should do with the rest of our lives. Apparently, by narrowing down your likes and dislikes as well as your strengths and weaknesses, the computer could tell you what you'd be good at.

Unfortunately, for me, the range was very broad, and well not very helpful. Though, apparently, I liked to be helpful, because the list went something like this:

Daycare worker

As for being a firefighter, I don't think I'd be so good with the whole, sitting around for hours waiting for a fire eating chili and looking at porn aspect. Okay maybe it's an urban myth, I don't actually KNOW any firefighters, but it seems pretty accurate.

And a veterinarian... well, I love animals, but let's just say I never even took Biology. Never dissected a frog. Never mixed crazy chemicals. The closest I got was examining a piece of skin from the inside of my mouth under a microscope in 9th grade Science class. So I didn't think saving animals was for me.

And daycare worker? I babysat ONCE. Ever. So how could I possibly be good at taking care of kids?

And then there was Secretary. Do you see the pattern? Helping people in fires, helping animals, helping kids, helping your boss. Unless of course you're my favourite secretary ever: Tess McGill, in which case you use your boss's broken leg to your advantage to get ahead in your career.

If I didn't get to be Tess, then I'd want to be the type of secretary that doesn't actually have any real responsibilities, so that I could write books all day.

So you can see why I'm not very keen on computer programs that help you decide your career path. But still, when I found this quiz, "What Kind of Writer Should you Be?" I couldn't help taking it. It said I should be a Film Writer.

Hmph. I'm not impressed. Mostly because I don't know the first thing about writing for film. Contrary to what the quiz says, that I can see the story playing out like a movie in my mind, I actually can't visualize ANYTHING, so how can I picture where the main character should be standing, or which hand she should use to flip back her hair?

No, I much prefer to be vague and let the reader decide what I mean when I say she was wearing a pink seersucker shirt. Like, "ooh, cute" or "how odd. and ugly."

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind.
You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life.
Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling.
And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Heavy lifting

Yesterday, I was supposed to go to the International Anti-Aging show, the place where women go to get everything lifted - eyes, tummies, faces, necks...and spirits! After all, they give away tens of thousands of dollars in free procedures!

But when I arrived at the parking lot, I couldn't find a spot to park. Because of all the trucks.

I was confused. Were female truckers suddenly interested in looking better? Were they all channelling Susan Hawk (aka Survivor Sue), the former trucker turned makeover queen? I didn't know because I couldn't get out of my car and find out. Eventually I found a space, but because the trucks were so monstrous, they'd both gone over the line on their side of the parking space, so the open space was more like a half space. Which would've been fine if I were driving this...

Beep beep!

But I wasn't. I was driving this...

Just kidding. But wouldn't it be cool to have a Jaguar Hearse? Actually, it would've been better to have this type of hearse...

A Monster Truck Hearse!

"You want to roll over me? You're dead meat, man!"

But I didn't. Finally, I found a spot far, far away from the crazy trucks, because I was sure that if I parked anywhere near the trucks, they wouldn't see my car when they went to leave, and they'd just drive right over it, like this:

"What house, officer?"

Finally, I got inside the International Centre, only to find that there was a Heaving Equipment Show going on.

"My forklift can pick up 82 tons. How much can yours?"

And while there was lots machinery to help you lift heavy objects, where was the show that helped you lift your eyelids and your tummy? Had I gotten it wrong?

Thankfully, the Wine & Cheese show was going on in the next hall so I went to clear my head and rid any thoughts of monster truckers bulldozing the building and killing us all. Then, I found the Anti-Aging show, and the needles, Botox and fat-sucking machines. And I felt safe.

On my way home, to celebrate my expert sleuthing abilities, I bought myself this...

A Nancy Drew Journal! Because a good sleuth should always have a notebook to figure out the mystery. Then I stopped in at The 10 Spot to get a pretty manicure (because you never know when you'll need to point a finger at the culprit).

Friday, March 23, 2007

1001 Books...and does listening count as reading?

Yesterday, Scarbiedoll posted her spring reading list, all of which look like really good books, which is REALLY great, because that's just what I needed ... more books to add add to my neverending list of books I want to read. You know, because it's almost the end of March and I'm only on book #6. However, Scarbiedoll's May book pick was one I've ALREADY read! How, you ask? Because it's mine! Thanks Scarbie!

Scarbiedoll also mentioned that she's in a 1001 Books To Read Before You Die Bookclub, so of course, I wanted to know what's on the list. If you head over here Baby Got Books has listed the 1001 Books on the list and also created a spreadsheet so you can tally up how many you've read.

Halfway through the list I'd read 5 of the books. FIVE out of FIVE HUNDRED. The Hubs, who glanced over my shoulder as I tallied, to see what I was doing, said, "You've read 1%." (Actually, I'm not sure if it's at that exact point that he said it, because math is not my strength, but it was very bad, especially when he skimmed the 20 books on the screen at that point and said, "Hey've read almost all of those." Huh.) I'd HEARD of a lot of the books, and I'd seen a lot of the movies of other books (The Godfather, Interview with a Vampire), but apparently that doesn't count. However, once I've seen the movie, I find it very difficult to actually go back and read the book, so does that mean I'll never read all 1001 books on the list? Probably. Also, there were 10 books by J.M. Coetzee books on the list, and 8 from Ian McEwan. Surely with all the amazing authors out there, this is a little excessive (I'm biased, of course because I haven't even read one book by either of them). Thankfully, when I got to the books from the 1800s, Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters came to my rescue, and I pulled my score up to 52. Which is still pathetic, but at least it's a starting off point, right?

In related news, in an attempt to increase my book intake, I've started to do an IV drip of books (aka books on iPod). My last iPod died before Christmas, and for my birthday I bought myself a new, pretty blue nano with much more memory. At first I wasn't sure this would count as "reading" but I asked a very reputable source - a friend who WORKS at a book publishing house, and who better to confirm what's reading and what's not than her? - and she says that listening counts as reading, if it's the unabridged version. So my new plan has been working out quite well so far, since my commute to and from work and other appointments is usually on foot, so I can't actually read, but now I can listen. I'm about halfway through The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters, which I'd wanted to read for years.

The only downside is that I'm not sure if I can pause the story and listen to any music and then come back to it, or if it'll start over from the beginning. I tried once and then I had to fast forward back to the part I'd left off.

Has anyone else been "reading" books on their iPod and can tell me if I can stop the story and go back to it after listening to music?

Otherwise, how am I going to listen to Lollipop?.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Target is Stuck in Downward Dog!

I love Target, so today, while I was doing a little pre-spring Tarj shopping trip preview shopping online, looking at the things I may not be able to live without... such as ...

this Making Memories Craft Tote! Because really, sometimes a crafty girl's got to feel like she can craft on the go! or this...

super cute laptop bag, which perhaps might be more important, so that I can write on the go! or this...

Thermos, because all that writing can make a girl thirsty...

Anyway, while looking at all these things, I came across

My book...available at Target?!?!!!

I need a minute.

I'm not sure if this means that the book will actually be available in actual Target stores, but I can't even imagine what I'm going to do if it is. I mean, Target?! The store that has a category under Dresses called "Ladylike Polish"?

In related news, Daria Snadowsky's super fun book Anatomy of a Boyfriend just became a Breakout Book! You can see a picture of her at Tarj with her book here (Scroll down to the March 6 entry). Congratulations, Daria!

Mr. Baz, also, is quite excited about the possiblity of Downward Dog being available at Target, since he too, shares my love of the Tarj, ever since I bought him his Isaac Mizrahi golf shirt last fall...

Lucky Monday!

I rarely win anything randomly. I buy 6/49 tickets, Bingo scratch tickets, and enter every random contest that comes in my inbox (for fabulous trips and amazing prizes!) but I never win. In grade school, however, I used to win a lot of contests, but only colouring contests. I was the queen of colouring contests, and although I have absolutely ZERO talent when it comes to drawing, I can, and have always been able to colour between the lines, so I entered every colouring contest I could. And most of the time, I won. It didn't matter what the picture was or how many people entered. One of my favourite wins was in the fourth grade. I remember wishing every single night before bed that I would win the contest. The prize was a Get-Along Gang doll and at the time I LOVED the Get-Along Gang.

When my mom got the call, she was home from work on her only day off of the week, and she rushed over to the school to pick me up so I could go pick out Dottie before anyone else got her (because she knew I wouldn't want to get stuck with the Moose).

She had real, working rollerskates. She was awesome.

Once, I even won a contest with only fifteen minutes left to enter. It was a contest from the Avondale Dairy Farm, this huge ice cream factory in the country where my mom and dad would take me and my sister on Sunday nights to get ice cream during the summer. The contest was printed in the newspaper but when we saw it, there was only half an hour left until it closed. So I tore the picture out of the paper, grabbed my pencil crayons and got in the car, where my dad drove, while I coloured and my sister passed me pencil crayons as necessary (me: Peacock blue. she: Peacock blue!) and as though she were passing me the scapula like we were in a Gray's Anatomy episode. I didn't win first prize, and I can't remember what first prize was, but I remember that my prize was BETTER! I got an ice cream clock, my picture framed, and FREE ice cream for like a month! It was crazy.

Sadly, I can no longer enter colouring contests because I'm too old and I am not qualified with any skill that would let me win any other type of contest. Maybe we all only have one real contest skill. Some people are great at triathlons, others can touch a car for 48 hours without stopping. Some people can name songs on the radio just by hearing the opening note. I guess my skill was colouring between the lines. And it was a good run while it lasted, but still I'm sad that I don't win any contests anymore, because it's fun to win contests, isn't it? So that's why I am SO excited today! Because I just won a galley of Beauty Shop for Rent!.

Remember a few weeks ago I mentioned that Laura Bowers, author of the upcoming Beauty Shop for Rent, was having a ...

Beauty Shop Galley giveaway?

And all you had to do was send in a funny or scary picture or story about your time at the Beauty Shop? Well I sent this story, and it won! (Actually, I think it was a random draw, but I'm just going to believe it was my story that won the book because then, at least, I'll feel like finally, some good came out of that horrible hair experience.)

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you, Laura! I can't wait to read it!!!

Oh, and it's not too late for you! Laura is having one more giveaway on April 6. For all the details on how to enter so you, too, could win your very own equivalent of a colouring contest prize, go here. And good luck!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Sidewalks are super!

Today, I was driving, and I came to a sudden stop. Why? Because there was a lady walking with a little boy, who had to be about 3, in the middle of the street. Now, this would be okay if it was a side street in a subdivision in the suburbs of a small town. But it wasn't. It was on a normal street in downtown Toronto. And there were TWO very usable sidewalks that they could've been walking on. So for a few minutes, I trailed the lady and her son, hoping that the sound of a car engine behind her would give her the hint to get out of the way, but it didn't, and I couldn't go around because it was a one-way street and there were cars parked along the side of the round.

Finally, there was a break in parked cars and because the lady would not move, even though she turned around twice to look at me, in my evil car driving on the road, I could finally get around her.

I was so excited to finally be past her, like I'd ACCOMPLISHED something I almost sped up, in my glee to finally be going faster than 5 km an hour. But I didn't. And it's a good thing, because not even a minute later, on the other side of the intersection, there was an 80 year old man, walking toward me IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET!!!

I slowed right down and watched him, walking straight toward me, totally obvlivious to the sidewalks on either side of the street, and TOTALLY oblivious to my car. And then, I realized it.

My car has SUPER POWERS!!! It's invisible! The only thing is, this can be more dangerous than useful. And also I think that the superpower Gods must have misunderstood that I wanted to my superpower to be invisibility, not my car to be invisible.

I've put in a call to see about getting the superpower transferred over to my name, but you can't be too picky when they're handing out superpowers. So in the meantime, I thought I'd just show the people in my neighbourhood how fun the sidewalks CAN be, if you just try them!

This peacock loves the sidewalk...

This dog loves the sidewalk too...

"It's so comfortable! No cars driving over me when I'm lying here!"

Even this squirrel thinks the sidewalk is pretty cool...

"Look at all this grass! They don't have grass on the street!"

But you know who loves sidewalks the most? Groups, because it's more fun to walk on the sidewalk when EVERYONE walks on the sidewalk! Take it from the geese...

Walking on the sidewalk rocks!

Saturday, March 17, 2007

You NEED to do this meme!

Super fabulous author Lara M. Zeises posted this needy meme on her site today and you totally need to do it. Here's how it works:

Type your first name and the word "needs" into Google, and hit enter, then list the top five things that come up. Here are mine!

1. Chantel needs to ____________. Seriously, that's what it says. It's like one of those fill in the blank notepad games where you have put a ridiculous verb or noun under each blank and then read it back. I love this because the possibilities of what I "need" to do are endless.

2. Chantel needs a loving and committed family. Yay, I have this! I feel like I've just checked a to-do item of a list!

3. Chantel needs to go some place where she can play and where he playing time isn't dictated by her ability to play defense and rebound. Okay, um, is this a sentence? Because there's more than one part I don't understand. I do like to go and play, though, although I think they may be talking about basketball? I definitely have no ability to play defense or rebound a basketball, so it's quite fitting.

4. Chantel needs to pull her s**t together. Okay....

5. Chantel needs to come for Mardi Gras and we go to the quarter one. Again, what's going on here? I'm beginning to think that most Chantels do not hang out with people who are particularly fond of normal, sensible sentences. But who am I to judge? I have things to do! I've got to get to New Orleans, go play, and above all, _____!

Friday, March 16, 2007

Book #5: As She Grows

A few weeks ago I met a girl who teaches at an all-girls school in Toronto. Only, the girls that go to this school aren't from super-rich families, and they don't go to Starbucks between classes. The girls live with their grandmothers, aunts or a friend's family. Some are pregnant, some have kids. Some have been abused, and others abuse themselves. I can't imagine how difficult it must be, both to be one of these girls, and to be a teacher in this school. Anyway, the girl introduced me to a book -- this book -- As She Grows, by Lesley Anne Cowan. The author, too, is a teacher at such a school, and a few years ago she wrote a novel. It's amazing. I couldn't put it down it was so good. Because she actually spends every day, it feels like she captures exactly how these girls speak, dress, act, even feel. I wouldn't know, but the characters are truly believable. Plus, the book is set in Toronto, which I love, since it's interspersed with culture, history and real life. The only thing is -- *** SPOILER ALERT *** (can you have a spoiler alert with a book that came out several years ago? Anyway...) -- when I got to the last page, I turned it. Because I really didn't think that was it. But it was, because the Acknowledgements came next and there were no pages missing. Have you read this book? Did you feel the same way? And if you haven't read this book, run to the bookstore, library or your computer and get it.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Baby news!

That's right... it's baby time! In the past two weeks, three of my friends have had babies! Don't worry, this wasn't a surprise to any of them. They all had babies inside of them, for nine months, so they were well-prepared that one day the baby was going to decide to come out and say hello. Actually, did you know that if you're pregnant, it's actually 38 weeks, which is more like 9 1/2 months? But we all just say 9 months. I suppose if you were carrying an extra 60 pounds around, you'd rather just hear 9 months, too, because 9 1/2 months is a long time. Oh, wait, apparently, according to Google, you're only supposed to gain 25-35 pounds, but whatever. If I was pregnant I'd totally gain 60 pounds, because if you're going to do it, why not do it all the way? I mean, it's the one chance to eat ice cream whenever you want, besides your birthday.

So aside from the fact that all three babies were born within a few days of eachother, they were also ALL BOYS! Luckily for me, they all have different names. Because imagine if they'd all been named Omar? And I'd have to remember which one was which? Would I say Omar I, Omar II, and Omar III, based on their date of births? Actually, come to think of it, maybe I wouldn't have to differentiate. I'd just buy three identical prezzies, write Omar on each card and I'd be set to go. But that's not really fair, because they're all individual, and I'm sure that Omar I might like toy cars but Omar II might prefer soccer balls and Omar III might like manicures. (I'm just saying.) So then Omar III would be really pissed off to get a Hot Wheels car instead of a Hot Paraffin Mani, right? So actually, it's probably better that each of them has a very different name, so that I can remember that...

Balthazar likes Blue's Clues ...

and Salarino likes Spiderman ...

and MacDuff likes the Muppets.

Hmm.. why are all my fake baby names Shakespearean characters? And also, why do all their favourite superheroes and cartoon characters start with the same initial as their first name? Maybe it's because I LIKED characters that started with the same initial as my name.

Care Bears? Check.

Cabbage Patch Kids? Check.

Strawberry Shortcake...

Okay scratch that theory. The new babies can like whatever they like because they're going to be each very unique and so fun to play with. You know why? Because they're all PISCES!! And you can't go wrong with a Pisces. They're sensitive, empathetic, and caring. The down side to all the mushy-feeliness is that they're criers. So just to be sure that the babies were TRUE Pisces (because as I'm sure you know, if you're born on the cusp, then you could ACTUALLY be another sign, like Aquarius or Aries, both of which are NOTHING like Pisces) I asked my three friends if each of their babies were crying a lot, and they ALL said YES!

Yes! So they're all Pisces. Just like me.

And speaking of new babies, my new cover arrived this week! The labour was intense, and lasted several WEEKS, but it wasn't too painful (I hope!) and the new cover was and is super cute (just like all babies should be).

Ta da!

And now, because of all the great news, I'm going to go eat some ice cream.

Thursday, March 8, 2007


Let's discuss Fruity Smarties for a minute, please. Now, I LOVE Smarties. Some people are indifferent between Smarties and M&Ms. Some people don't think there's a difference. There's a huge difference. HUGE. I mean, first of all there are the colours. Then there's the shape - flat Smarties versus round Skittle-like M&Ms. Then, there's the TASTE. Smarties are made with milk chocolate. M&Ms are made with semi-sweet chocolate. And while yes, Smarties will melt in your hand, they'll also melt in your mouth. I cannot make an M&M melt in my mouth. The candy coating is just too thick, which is good if you're looking to hold the M&Ms in your hand for a while, but since I have no will power I pretty much eat them instantly and I CAN'T wait for them to melt, so I have to crunch them and then I'm just chewing on chocolate and that's just not right. Because you can really only enjoy chocolate if you're letting it melt in your mouth.

So when I saw these I felt torn. It's like when someone asks if you'd like dessert and then they offer you applesauce. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with applesauce, I LIKE applesauce, but it's not dessert. Neither is fruit. I am trying to eat more fruit, but it's not dessert. Chocolate is dessert. Which is why Fruity Smarties aren't Smarties at all! They're Skittles.

I like Skittles, but we already have Skittles. And Skittles are sort of guilt-free candy, because you know they're fat-free so you don't feel so bad about eating them. But with Fruity Smarties, it's like if I reach for the Smarties, I'm going to feel like I SHOULD have the Fruity Smarties instead.

Of course, I SHOULD have a piece of fruit instead. Preferably organic, or at least locally-grown, right?

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Tuesday Thoughts

Yesterday, the Today show did a segment on why Organic is Overrated . Thank you, pesticide powers that be! I have felt strongly about this for YEARS. While I was dating the vegetarian organic crazy dude, and when I lived on the Danforth, just steps from The Big Carrot (which sells all organic, all the time). I'm not opposed to the idea of farmers NOT spraying their crops, or injecting their vegetables with dyes. What I'm opposed to is that the food doesn't TASTE as good as the un-organic stuff. Is it just me? It's not! And when organic obsessers get all "It's worse for your body to eat an unorganic apple than to not eat an apple at all" I get sad, because how can it be better to not eat fruit than to eat fruit? There actually probably is some truth to this theory, because it's not a good idea to fill your body with chemicals (even Diet Coke, whatever) but I think this is the wrong message to be sending. And not just to little Connor McCreaddie, you know, the eight-year-old boy who weighs 196 pounds. No, not just to him and other kids who are eating too much junk food and not enough fruit and veggies, but to everyone. I mean, I have to tell myself every day to eat fruit. Eat Fruit, I say. So then to tell me that I should not eat fruit unless it's organic, it's just counterproductive, because it's not easy to find organic fruit by my work, which means I just don't eat fruit. And then if I don't eat fruit for a few days, it's like I've forgotten what fruit is altogether.

So the experts on the Today show said that you should try to eat locally grown when you can't eat organic, and that a lot of local farmers don't use pesticides, but they're just not allowed to call themselves organic farmers for a bunch of other reasons. So that's great, in the summer, but what am I supposed to eat all winter long? Because last time I checked there was NO locally grown fruit growing in the fields in Canada in the winter. There is, however, an Allan factory (you KNOW, they make Sour Patch Kids?) about half an hour outside the city. So I'm wondering, do Fuzzy Peach candies count as local fruit in the middle of March?

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Movie Madness

How many movies have you seen?

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 movies, you have no life. (I like to think it means I'm very good at watching movies. Besides, who are these people judging us, when the LIZZIE MCGUIRE movie is on the list?) Also, some of these movies are so random, I can't even remember what they are, and who wants to look up a movie before voting? Um, not me. And some of them -- like Blazing Saddles? Re-Animator? I Spit on Your Grave? -- I've never heard of.

Anyway, you're supposed to mark the ones you've seen. There are 266 movies on this list. Copy this list into your own FaceBook, LJ or blog, or post your answers here in comments.

I've seen 129, though I'm not entirely certain I added it up correctly. It's more of a guestimate.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x ) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
(x ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
Total so far: 15

(x ) A Cinderella Story
(x ) The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(X) The Ring
(x) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
( ) Flubber
Total so far: 22

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
() Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x ) Hellboy
() Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 28

( x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
(x) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter
() The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 37

(x) Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
(x) Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
() Ocean's Twelve
() Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
() Predator I
() Predator II
() The Fog
(X) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far: 45

(x) Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
( x) Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( x) My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
() War of the Worlds
(X) Rush Hour
(X) Rush Hour 2
Total so far:53

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(X) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 63

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
() X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x ) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
( x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x ) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
(x) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x ) Shrek 2
Total so far:75

(x ) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
() K-Pax
( ) Kippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 81

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 87

( ) Baseketball
(x) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
() Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
(x) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far:91

(x ) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
Total so far: 96

( ) High Tension
() Club Dread
() Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
( x) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x ) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld
Total so far: 100

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
(x) Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
(x) the Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
(x)Army of Darkness
Total so far: 107

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(X)Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 113

(x) The Matrix
(X) The Matrix Reloaded
(X) The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
() Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal
Total so far: 119

( ) Battle Royale
( ) Battle Royale 2
(x) Contact
( ) Cube
( ) Dr. Strangelove
( ) Enlightenment Guaranteed
( x) Four Rooms
(x) Memento
( x) Pi
(x ) Requiem for a Dream
(x) Pulp Fiction
(x) Reservoir Dogs
( ) Run Lola Run
( ) Russian Ark
() Serenity
(x) Sin City
(x) Snatch
( ) Spider
(x) The Sixth Sense
(x ) The Village
(x ) Waking Life
( ) Zatoichi
( ) Ikiru
(x ) The Seven Samurai
( ) Brick
( ) Akira
Total: 129

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Hair disasters

A few weeks ago, I posted about my own hair disasters. And now, I feel much better because I'm not alone! The very funny Laura Bowers (whose first book, Beauty Shop, comes out in May) has a Beauty Shop Galley Giveaway! going on right now. All you have to do is tell your most embarassing beauty shop horror story and you could win. What? You don't have a horror story? Well then, you don't deserve to win. Okay, fine, you can still win, because it's not my contest, it's Laura's contest and because she's an empathetic person, she also has other categories you can enter, like your favourite home salon memory, stories of hairstyles your parents forced you to have, or, if you don't want to write anything at all, you can just send a picture of your worst hairstyle. Which might be worse than actually discussing your beauty shop horror story. It certainly takes more guts. I'd like to say that I would enter this category except that all my childhood pictures are on the bookshelf of the home I grew up in, but I think it's that I've had so many bad haircuts, it would be hard to narrow it down to one.

There's the one from the fourth grade, when I thought it would be cool to grow a rat's tail. Seriously.

And now, because I just remembered it, I'll share with you yet another hair disaster.

In first-year university, when I'd just moved to Toronto, I didn't have a hairstylist. Now, I could've asked my sister, who lived in the city, for a recommendation, but I didn't. Instead, I decided to take the advice of one of the student paper's writers who had written an article about how much money you can save
by going to a beauty school for a haircut. "These students are well on their way to being some of the top stylists in the city. And they need healthy heads of hair to practice on," the article said. Or SOMETHING LIKE THAT. Anyway, I decided to give it a shot. I was going through a brown hair with "natural" blond highlights phase, and the highlights were starting to grow out. All I needed was a touchup on the highlighted strands. Easy peasy. Plus, they were only going to charge me a fraction of the price I would've had to pay at a real salon, which tends to charge the same price for a root touchup as it does for highlights. Which is a lot when you're a student. (Note: if I'd really wanted to save money, I should've just let my hair go natural instead of constantly highlighting it, but I was obsessed with colouring my hair. It was the mousy brown curse. Back to the story...) So I went to the beauty school for my appointment. There were a lot of girls getting their hair done, young, old, kids, grandmothers, and I felt confident it would all work out. I explained to the student that I just needed the roots touched up on the highlighted strands.

Just the roots? She asked.

Just the roots on the highlighted parts, I told her.

There seemed to be some hesitation and some confusion, and I should've told her immediately to find her instructor so she could check that she knew what she was doing. Better yet, I should've gotten OUT of the chair before she started. Instead, I sat back, flipped open my InStyle and let her go to work.

She did a lot more work than she needed to. Instead of applying the bleach to the roots of the highlighted strands, she applied the bleach to all my roots. Every single strand of hair attached to my scalp.

When I noticed what she'd done, I became hysterical. I was screaming and crying all at once. The girl just stared at me, alarmed. I was freaking out. Her instructor rushed over, but what could she really do? So you know what she did? She said, "That's sort of complicated, they're not used to do anything like that."

Well then THEY shouldn't do things they don't know what to do. The instructor offered to fix it, but once you've bleached hair, how can you fix it? And I couldn't let them touch my hair any longer, so I made them rinse out the bleach, and then I walked out of there, brown hair with blond highlights and white roots, and walked all the way home because I was too embarassed to even get on the subway.