Monday, March 24, 2008

The Easter Bunny didn't pee on me.

Yesterday, after a brunch of quiche (or as my friends and I like to call it, "kweech") and hot cross buns with my dad and stepmom, we drove back to Toronto. Once inside, we could hear cheers and shouts down below. I looked out on the street to see thousands of people marching toward Queen's Park, waving flags and cheering.

"What do you think it is?" the Hubs asked. 
"Cheering that Jesus is risen for the day?" I suggested. 
"Hmmm... I think they're protesting, actually. They sound angry."
"That Jesus is alive? That's hardly very polite."

The Hubs decided it likely had something to do with Tibet. Turns out if you Google "march" and the current date, you find out exactly who's protesting what on any given day in the city. They were upset about Tibet and not Jesus after all. The Hubs always has his finger on the pulse of the protest world.

Once they quieted down, we decided to eat pizza, Easter cream eggs and watch movies, while wearing an article of new clothing so the Easter Bunny wouldn't pee on us. I'd never heard of this superstition before I met the Hubs, but every year his mom would send us new socks in the mail. This year however, she didn't send us anything new to wear, likely because she doesn't have time to shop for us. She's going to be a Mother of the Bride in a week and has to find a dress, so it's understandable that we're on our own this year. Neither of us had any new socks to don, but thankfully we'd just gone shopping for new beachwear for our vacation next week so we put on that instead. I wore a sun hat and sundress. The Hubs wore his surfer shorts and flip-flops. 

"What movie do you want to rent?" The Hubs asked. 
"No Country for Old Men?"
During brunch, we got to talking about movies. My stepmom and dad had just watched the Coen Brothers' latest. I hadn't really had any urge to see it since I'd heard mixed reviews. My stepmom said they didn't understand it at all. "It didn't make any sense. It was like Fargo, only without the woodchipper." 

Little did she know she sold us on the movie with this comment. Fargo is one of my all-time favorite movies, and the fact that she didn't understand it gave me hope that it would be dark and thought-provoking. I'm not saying she has bad taste in movies (we share a place in our hearts for Clueless and Legally Blonde) but some of her favorite movies also happen to be Because I Said So and Failure to Launch, while she also thought The Pianist was boring and The Upside of Anger was depressing. 

Needless to say I loved No Country. But I think I'll keep that to myself. 

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Homie comes to Toronto

I heart Annie Choi. A few weeks ago, she was cleaning her place and found a bunch of Homies. She wanted to give them new homes. I told Mr. Baz this, and he decided he wanted a Homie to play with. So he sat down to send Annie an email asking for a Homie to love.

And then, a few days later, a Homie arrived in an package from America. The package was marked Airmail and addressed to Mr. Baz. He felt very important.

Mr. thinks Homie looks a little like the Anti-Santa Claus. He calls him Anti-Santi. Homie doesn't like his new nickname very much.

Mr. Baz and Homie decide to play a game of Cat & Homie. Actually it's all Mr. Baz's idea. Homie thinks Mr. Baz has an unfair advantage. Homie is sitting in a chair. He's not very mobile.

When Mr. Baz gets tired of all the activity, Homie checks out the pad. He finds three soldiers and tries to hang with them. They're pretty stiff. He thinks they could use a drink. 

Homie goes outside to check out Toronto. He sees the CN Tower and thinks it's pretty cool. Or tall, at least. He asks Mr. Baz if they can get a closeup look but Mr. Baz says he's no workhorse and if Homie wants to go downtown he better get up off his chair and walk. Homie thinks that sounds like a lot of effort, all to see some stupid tall tower. He'd rather hang out  on the patio, with his butt an inch off the barbeque. It feels warm. Sort of like he has peed himself.

Back inside, Homie spots Chantel's keys. There's a silver shoe. Like the glass slipper. He feels a little like Cinderella until he tries on the heel and discovers it's way too big. Then he feels like an evil stepsister, but he tries to pretend the silver would just ruin his dope outfit. He decides to go with Chantel to work. 

He checks out the beauty stash. He sees some Gillette antiperspirant for men, but he doesn't need it. He's not like Richard Simmons. He doesn't sweat. 

He thinks the aloe plant would make a dope slide. But the prickles prick his butt. Chantel says they can go get manicures, so they leave. 

On the way, Homie sees a Free Dream Box. He thinks he would like a free dream. But when he looks inside the box he sees it is empty. Apparently there's no such thing as a free dream.

At the nail shop, the manicurist tells him to pick out a shade of polish. He thinks black or purple would rock, but all there seems to be is 17 shades of pink.  

Instead, he steals a nail file and fashions it into a snowboard so he can shred some gnar outside.

On the way home they pass the World's Biggest Bookstore. He  wonders what the world's biggest book is or if all the books inside the store are gigantic. Like books on 'roids. He wants to go in but Chantel says they have plenty of books at home. 

There seem to be a lot of Nancy Drew Mysteries. What's up with Ned Nickerson anyway? He's not as cool as the Hardy Boys. He wears pink polo shirts. 

Then Homie sees Annie's book Happy Birthday or Whatever. He misses Annie. But that seems wimpy, so he goes to find something macho to do.

He checks out RockBand. He wants to play the drums but he's too small to hold the stix. And pounding his butt against the drums makes it hurts.

Since the drums suck, he tries the microphone. They play Bon Jovi. He is Jon. He is wanted dead or alive. He's going down in a blaze of glory. He is livin' on a prayer. He gives love a bad name.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

He's like the wind...through my tree.

Did you hear about Patrick Swayze?

At first I didn't believe it. I mean, do doctors actually hand out timelines of when you're going to die anymore? It's totally depressing, because what if you end up living for five more years and you wanted to travel to Istanbul but thought five weeks wasn't enough time, so you don't do it and then because you keep living you never get to? I guess in Patrick's case he's too sick to travel to Istanbul. But still. I love Patrick Swayze. And not just in Dirty Dancing...

                        Exhibit #1: Why celebrities should NEVER get nose jobs...

or in Ghost...

"Don't you like the way I'm rubbing clay all over your arms?" 

But even just in spirit last season in the Trailer Park Boys' Patrick Swayze episodes.
It's really too sad. 

What's also sad (but in no way compares to Patrick obviously) is that I have MISSED ANOTHER EPISODE of Cashmere Mafia. 

If this image doesn't scream Sex and the City I don't know what does, but whatever. I'm still watching...or rather I WOULD be if I could FIND it...

What is the point of PVR if you set it to tape the same show on the same day at the same time, but the SHOW KEEPS CHANGING ITS AIRTIME?

This also happened with Pussycat Dolls Present Girlicious...

(which really is even better than I could've imagined). But thankfully, because it airs on MuchMusic, I was able to catch the missed episodes on repeat and get all caught up. Phew. It was close. Speaking of PCD, I am a little puzzled that they pretend there were SO many entries and they had these huge audition lines, but then in the final 15 nearly every girl can only do one of the following:

c)have "star" power

Out of THOUSANDS of girls, not one single girl can do ALL THREE? Something's fishy in pussycat land.

But back to Cashmere Mafia. When it debuted I chose CM over LJ. I thought it would be better. And I can't comment on which is better, since I haven't been watching LJ...

Which is why I had NO idea that Blane was on the show...

"You said you couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in you. Well I believed in you. I just didn't believe in me. I love you...always."

Andrew McCarthy just may drag me over to the other side. 

The other thing I didn't know because I don't watch Lipstick Jungle is that Lindsay Price is on it. Until this morning on Regis & Kelly, because Kelly was talking about how she and Lindsay were costars on All My Children, and I was like, she wasn't on All My Children... she was Janet Sosna, Steve Sanders' girlfriend/wife on 90210!!!

Um, what's going on with Kelly's bridesmaid hair?

Finally, I leave you with this...