Three Days Grace

There are just three days left of the year, which has me feeling full of anticipation, and full of happiness. And also full of panic.

The anticipation is because 2008 is full of possibilities and successes and happiness in the making.

The happiness is that 2007 was one of the best years yet. Because my first novel came out. Something I'd worked on since 2004. When 2007 was so far away that I couldn't even fathom it. When I started writing Stuck in Downward Dog, I was still single, though happily dating the Hubs-to-be, and we had just moved into our first home that we'd bought together, after getting engaged. Then came 2005 - my favourite year yet. I got a promotion at work and the Hubs and I got married and I signed a contract with my agent and the Hubs bought me my desk, as a reward. Which is where I still sit and write on my laptop.

Then came 2006, which was thrilling and new, selling the book and working with an editor and rewriting the book and changing it to make it (what I think is) better.

Finally it was 2007. I remember this time last year thinking that it was getting so close. That in a few days it would be the year that my book came out. I had no idea what that would involve, how the final book would turn out, whether I would forget to thank anyone in the acknowledgements (as far as I know, I'm still happy with them), what the cover would look like, if anyone would review the book, if anyone would read the book (even people I didn't know did!), if anyone would hate the book (some did), if anyone would love it (some did, and to those who wrote me to tell me, I'm still touched).

Thankfully, 2007 was also a year of good health and family and friends and a job that I love and that pays me and allows me to buy tuna juice for Mr. Baz, who is also healthy.

But that brings me to panic. For the things I haven't done in 2007 that I wanted to (thankfully skydiving was not on the list since it's pouring now and who wants to skydive in the rain?) and the realization I have only 3 days left. And then there's the panic of what 2008 will bring. 2007 was so good, that maybe that means 2008 will be bad. Surely all the years can't be good, can they? Of course I know the answer to that. But the thing is, I can't do anything, not really, about the bad stuff that might happen in 2008. I can control some things, of course, and for that I'll do my best. But I can't live in fear and panic of what I can't control.

Which has me thinking about my resolutions for 2008. I'm not usually one for resolutions, but this year I'm making them achievable. Some are practical such as this one: I'm going to try to floss my teeth once a day. This seems ridiculous, I know, to astute flossers like this guy I know who flosses 4 times a day, but for me, it's a huge step, as a recovering non-flosser. And I figure, if someone can manage to floss 4 times a day, surely I can do it once. Other resolutions are a bit more sentimental: I'm going to try to live in the moment. To enjoy exactly what I'm doing while I'm doing it, rather than making lists of everything else I should be doing or will do when I'm doing whatever I'm doing. This sort of ties into spending my time wisely, and not doing things because I think I should, but because I really want to. Even flossing. I could dread it, but if I think about how it's going to stop my teeth from falling out, then I should love it, right? Okay, a little ridiculous, but still...

What are your resolutions?