Friday, January 18, 2008

What I learned from my (old) school today...

Yesterday, I did an interview with a student reporter for The Eyeopener, the independent campus newspaper at Ryerson and today, the photographer came to take my picture. At first, she suggested perhaps she could take my picture at a yoga studio. Doing yoga. In yoga clothes.

Cute idea right?

NO, NOT A CUTE IDEA. I mean, it's traumatic enough for me to see myself in spandex. As if I'd let a stranger see me and then TAKE MY PICTURE. And then print it. So I faked hermititis (an allergic reaction to leaving the house) and made the photographer come to my place so that I could wear normal author clothes, like a normal author.

Because she was very sweet, she somehow she still convinced me to sit in lotus position (like the cover of SIDD). But I'm wearing jeans. And a pretty new bracelet my friend brought me back from Thailand that matched my purple yoga mat. So it's sort of OM. It's home-om. Let's hope I don't look hideous.

Anyway, after she left I decided to check out the newspaper online to see what's new at my old school.

Which is when I saw this story: RA Strangles student in residence.

I learned that not only did this student get strangled (he's okay now), but in October, another student stabbed her roommate in the residence. Then six girls got groped at a floor party and then in December, a girl died in her room.

In ONE semester?

But the best part (and when I say best I mean as in ridiculous) is the end of the story, when they talk to the rez housing manager:

Despite the recent events, Weppler says that this year hasn’t been too different from others.“At this point, I don’t have any inclination to point to things as abnormal,” he said.

Is this what's going on in residence now everywhere? And is the claim that this is "normal" supposed to make students (and their parents) feel better? The worst thing that happened when I lived in rez was that a girl got rushed to the hospital for puking her guts out while playing Century Club. But she got her stomach pumped and everyone loved her after that because she'd drank 100 beers. And then she got a hot boyfriend. Not that I'm saying getting your stomach pumped and getting a hot boyfriend are co-related. I'm just saying.

In other news, apparently Qi is not a word, idiot. Ha! I knew it! When I first got addicted to Scrabulous on Facebook, I tried to make big words, using all my letters. Actually if you use all your letters you get a Bingo so that's a good thing, but if you're even one letter short, then you likely only get like 8 points because you made the word on normal squares rather than utilizing the coloured squares. Or maybe it's just me. Anyway, I totally lost at like a hundred Scrabulous games, until I figured out that I shouldn't try to make words I actually know the meaning of, but instead, make words like Qi, Fe, AA, El and Er. Because those are the words, that, in the right place, make you lots of points! But what's the point in that? And what's the point of Scrabulous anyway when you have to make words like that? It's totally making me an idiot. I can't formulate coherent sentences anymore because I'm too busy trying to think of two-letter words to answer people's questions in life.

Which is why I've now put a ban on Scranbulous. I'm sorry if you're waiting for me to make my move on Facebook so that you can put down your Bingo. It's not going to happen. I have other things to do. Like go back to brushing my hair 100 times to make it grow faster.

Oh yes it totally works, so don't laugh.

1 comment:

vickie said...

Imagine my surprise when I opened my RU alumni magazine, and there you were, too.