This weekend I made apple butter in my brand new crock pot. I really can't understand why Chantal (this is the person I blame for non-sensical, evil or stupid actions) never wanted a crock pot before now. Also, is it more cool-ical to call it a crock pot or a slow cooker? I'm not sure. I'm asking. Please tell me. Because really, the last thing I want to do is sound like I'm 82 when what I'm trying to pretend is that I do not have to be an organized housewife en apron to use a crock pot/slow cooker and can in fact wear stilettos and sip white wine (not a spritzer) while having a crafternoon in the kitchen. But calling it by the uncool name really just ruins that all, doesn't it? At the Mexicalarosa wedding, I went to a hen party. A what? I know. Apparently a hen party is to the senior set what a bachelorette party is to those under 40. My question is this: are we the hens or is the bride?
Anyway, I think I'll call it a crock cooker. So I made apple butter. Just call me Aunt Jemima. Did Aunt Jemima make apple butter, or was she strictly a maple syrup kind of gal? Surely she couldn't make syrup every day of the year. Maybe she had a food porn show on the side. I asked one of my friends, who confirmed that's likely true. Maybe she was the Nigella of her day. I am not the Nigella of my kitchen, but the apple butter did turn out, though it only made 3 jars, which seems like a lot of work for such a little amount, but maybe that makes it more special, like a diamond. The recipe said it would take about 10 hours. It took me about 20. I like to think it was a labour of love. Maybe I'm just a slow cooker.