A Shot at Love on The Bachelorette...

Are you watching The Bachelorette? This season is SO good. I think the network figured out that not even the most faithful Bachelor addict can tune in for 25 weeks or whatever it used to be, so in this season all the episodes are TWO HOURS and DeAnna sends home THREE guys each week! It's DRAMA with capital letters, let me tell you. This week, she totally lost it with the guys, who -- aside from my boyfriends Jason and Jeremy -- were being IDIOTS.

As an aside, if you are watching A Shot at Love this season, don't you think that Kreepy Kyle and The Bachelorette's Jeremy look a lot alike? Weird.

Kreepy Kyle

Jeremy

I think Jeremy's the keeper of the two, based on his choice in women to marry. I mean, which girl would YOU want to bring home to meet your mom?

DeAnna...

Tila ...

DeAnna...

Tila...

But nevermind, both girls want to find love, and so do Kyle and Jeremy. As do all the other boys on The Bachelorette and A Shot at Love. Who are we to judge? Oh come on, we have to judge! That's the point of the show!

On Tila, I think that Brittany's going to win. Even though she said she HATES needles, she got a belly button piercing to show her love for Tila.

"I know I said I HATE piercings so getting my belly button pierced would seem like it was a BIG deal, so just pretend you didn't notice that I already have my lip pierced."

On The Bachelorette I think Graham's going to win.

"I can't be bothered to shave or wash my hair and I don't want to kiss you and I sulk a lot, but I love you, DeAnna...."

Jason is my favourite. Even though he's so sweet (He's a little like Matthew Broderick, no?) and she likes to play tonsil hockey with him and snuggle with him she's not going to pick him because he's a single dad and I think DeAnna wants a fresh start at making a family and to be the guy's only focus for a while, at least. Jeremy will be close - also a kissy-face contender, and she likes Jesse but he's too un-suitable for her, with his crazy sneakers and colourful jackets and shaggy hair. Also he's a pro snowboarder. How long is THAT going to last? Then what? Sneaker salesman? Anyway, her loins quiver for Graham, so even though he's acting like a bit of a dinkhead, she's going to choose him. At least, that's what I think. What do you think?

In the meantime, here's some things the boys need to learn. Really, all boys - on a reality show or not - could use these tips.

1. When a girl's around, don't play some stupid drinking game with the boys and act like a jerk. She's not going to be impressed.

2. When the girl wants to kiss you, don't get mad at her because she's kissing other boys (and girls) too. That's the point of the show. Okay, I guess in real life you can get mad if your girlfriend's kissing a billion people.

3. Don't tell a girl that she's a redneck. Even if she's from the south, it's an insult.

4. When you get alone time, don't talk about how you "really feel a connection" and "really hope" she'll "save a" place in her heart/rose for him/spot on her list/chance to get to know eachother better. Talk about something real. Ask her a question! Sigh.

5. When a girl wants to know how romantic you can be, DO NOT talk about roses. DeAnna gives away a billion roses over the course of the show. Roses are not romantic. They are a prop. However, when it comes to Tila, tattoos are apparently romantic, even though she has 17 already. So go ahead, get a tattoo. Or a piercing. Whatever.