We're TOTALLY not going to talk about Lindsay

So Lindsay wants her privacy, because this is TOTALLY like, NOT her fault. Even though she refused the Breathalyzer test and failed the sobriety test and had coke in the car. Maybe she was going to the laundromat because she doesn't have laundry at home and she needed to wash her favourite outfit for her appearance on Jay Leno last night. And if you can't afford a washing machine in your home, then you certainly can't afford a cab or a limo to get to the laundromat, which is why she had to drive. And the sobriety? Well, she was probably just super excited about her new movie. Or, she'd just used new teeth whitening products. For the appearance. But now, because it's totally NOT her fault, she had to miss her appearance on Jay Leno last night, and Rob Schneider had to step in to play the role of LinLo instead...



While she sat in new room in a new rehab clinic (because she didn't go back to Promises in Miami). And tonight she has to miss the premiere of I Know Who Killed Me...



All because she had to drive to the laundromat. Maybe all this could've been avoided if she lived in Florida, where apparently, it's VERY hard to get a driver's license so then she would be forced to take cabs, take a limo or ride her bike. One of my favourite authors and bloggers, Meg Cabot, who lives in Florida, has been sharing some of the driver's license questions, and I have to say, WHY would you possibly need to know how far in the distance if you can't see it is required to have red flashing lights attached to your car when you're towing a heavy load? I mean, who even understands that question? And, who gets their license and then tows a heavy load in the middle of the night on a dark street unless you're an ax murderer and looking to get your license so you can transport the dead bodies from your garage to someone else's backyard pool?

Which is why, I think, it might be a good idea for Meg, and anyone looking to move to Florida and get their licence to get their licence in Ontario, instead. Because these are the types of questions on the Ministry of Transportation driver's licence test:


When may you lend your driver's licence?
a. In emergencies.
b. To a person learning to drive.
c. It is not permitted.
d. For identification purposes.

Now, it's not like LinLo needs to bum a driver's licence for ID purposes at clubs, but if she didn't GET her licence then she wouldn't be able to drive and then she'd be at the premiere tonight, perhaps, sporting this outfit from the movie:



But SERIOUSLY, who doesn't know the answer to this question? Which means, that even if LinLo had taken her test in Ontario, she would easily pass the test anyway, and then we'd be right back where we started. But we're not talking about LinLo, are we? No, we're not. We're talking about all those Floridians who don't want to tow heavy loads but really want their licenses. They should take advantage of the easy questions in Ontario.