Monday, September 8, 2008

I am not 21...

This weekend, The Dad, The Stepmom, The Hubs and I headed to Titusville, Pennsylvania for a golf vacation. It was our Christmas present to each other last year, but golfing in September is much more enjoyable than golfing in December, so off we went. I actually thought we were going to Ohio. Ohio, Pennsylvania, Po-tay-to, Po-tot-o, you get the idea.

A week before we left (saving the good news to the very end), The Stepmom says to me: Apparently there are no hairdryers at the hotel.

Say what?

We were a bit concerned. I don't actually use a hairdryer very often, but the idea of there NOT being a hairdryer was worrisome indeed. I mean, do we need a refresher on just how BAD hairdryers can actually get?

Exactly. So if that's what hairdryers can look like, what would a hotel look like that didn't even have hairdryers?

The night before we left, The Stepmom had an update: Apparently, they have hairdryers at the front desk.

What did this mean? What would the rooms actually have if they didn't even have enough hairdryers for each?

I'll tell you: 2 double beds and a TV.

No alarm clock (what? you want to wake up?)
No clock (who cares what time it is)
No mini shampoos and conditioners (you want clean hair?)
No bathrobes.

Okay, I didn't really expect bathrobes.

I thought it was going to be terrible, but it was AWESOME.

It was so 70s that the whole atmosphere would've been ruined had there been any other modern amenities.

It was unlimited golf, which is what everyone was there to do. And unlike some golf courses, that charge you $5 for a beer from the cart girl, there was no cart girl. Instead, there was a BREW-THRU, so that as you were going from Hole #9 to Hole #10 you could drive up to the window in your golf cart and they would give you a mini cooler that held 6 Pennsylvian beers (Yeunglings! Could there be a better name for beers?). And you gave the window guy $9. NINE dollars for SIX beers! It almost made me want to drink a beer, but beer is totally ungirly and so I never drink it.

You know what else the hotel had?

A revolving bar.

So picture this: a huge CRYSTAL chandelier in the middle with a full round bar (ie drinks/glasses/booze on all sides of the bar counter). Then, instead of there being one straight long bar, there was a huge circular bar table around it and about 20 chairs that SWIVEL all the way around in a circle. And then, at 9 pm, the bartender started mixing drinks and the circular bar and the chairs you were sitting on started to move in a clockwise direction!

Is this not the most awesomest thing you've ever heard of?

We were sitting on the patio having some after-dinner drinks when we looked in to the Crystal Lounge and saw that the lights on the chandelier had come on and the DJ was playing Prince and the chairs start moving.

Mesmerized, I raced inside to get on the ride. But when I sat down at the chair closest to the window where The Dad, The Stepmom and The Hubs were sitting outside, watching on, the bartender came up to me and asked me if I had ID.

Me: Um, no. It's in the room. (The hotel was all-inclusive, so why would I have my wallet with me?)

She: Are you 21?

Me: (In slight shock.). I'm 32.

She: (In utter disbelief). I really doubt that. I'm afraid you'll have to leave.

Me: (Totally redfaced with not a comeback to think of). Oh. OK.

I walked back outside as quickly as I could.

The Hubs: What happened?

I told them.

They're still not letting me live it down.

1 comment:

Alicia McAuley said...

Do you think anyone ever gets motion sickness from the revolving bar? Something about the spinning/alcohol combo seems dangerous at an all-inclusive place, no? It also sounds totally awesome and fun, though... So it's definitely worth the risk!